Oy

From Brad:

So to read Bree's last post would give you every indication that we are about to head back to Texas for good. Yesterday we had a regularly scheduled appointment with a home health nurse to change Nathanael's central line dressings and caps. As Bree mentioned, it was a doozy replete with multiple vomiting episodes by Nathanael. When the appointment was over, the nurse coordinator asked Bree to bring him in just so they could be sure everything was OK. They went in at 1:00 and were released to come home at around 8:00.

Bree got home and I, trying to be the good husband as well as finding an excuse to do what I wanted, left to procure some ice cream for her, for her I said. I got home. Bree had changed into her pj's and everything was pointing towards a relaxing evening where we'd watch a little basketball and then get some much needed sleep.

In preparation for giving Nathanael his evening medications, Bree took his temperature. For the first time in his life, Nathanael had a fever. The thermometer read 38.5 Celsius. We checked it again and it was 38.3. He had a fever. Now, for any other child, this isn't that big of a deal. Give some Tylenol, stay on top of it. For a child who's recently had a bone marrow transplant, it's cause to call the doctor and go into the hospital. So, at 10:00 at night, Bree packed up Nathanael and took him in and that is where they are right now. He's receiving antibiotics as well as a transfusion of packed red cells because his hemoglobin is low which isn't as big of a deal as it might sound.

I don't have any idea when they might be released. I also have no idea how this will impact their coming home. If I had to guess, I'd say it postpones it a week but who knows. The good news is that he hasn't registered a fever in the hospital so maybe he started to come down with something and his immune system dealt with it. That would end up being great news. Please pray. We love Cincinnati but we desperately want to get back to Texas.

Pray for us...it could be a long week!

Please pray for all of us this week. Here's the latest:

The boys and I hope to depart Cincinnati on Thursday via Angel Flight/Grace Flight. (Our plan is for Brad to clean up the apartment, get some sleep, and depart on Friday in the minivan.)

1. That means we need to return LOTS of items to people on Thursday, and may need some help late next week with cleaning, etc. in the apartment.
   
2. That also means that we will need a ride home sometime on Thursday (from the McKinney airport - preferably in a car that doesn't transport pets or kids, just to minimize risk),
   
3. I will probably need help (a grocery run, as I won't be able to leave the boys to get to the store, and possibly some freezer space to borrow - about a cubic foot or so...).
   
4. I may need help on Friday while taking care of two little boys by myself in a home I haven't seen in six months. It'll feel like a new place!
5. Once Brad arrives I will probably need help unpacking.
   

Oh, but if Nathanael gets sick we may NOT get to go home next week. He and I spent the day in the hospital today after the home health nurse who came today for his lab draws thought he was breathing too fast and his heart rate was a bit elevated (tachycardia is the technical name - which comes from the Greek word tachos, which means "fast" and cardia which means "heart" - Brad thought you might want to know...). So we went in, had lots of tests done, got a dose of rocephin (broad-spectrum antibiotic) just in case there's something "brewing" and we were dismissed around 7:45pm. That was after a home health visit that lasted from 11:00am to 1:00pm and included LOTS of crying during a dressing change procedure that seemed to go too slowly...I'm still learning.

Pray for Jamison. He woke up not feeling well today, and we're praying that he is well, but are trying carefully to maintain as much distance as possible between the boys. That's a bit of a challenge, but it could be harder for Brad and I not to pick up something if Jamison has it. Pray that we would all get the rest we need to stay healthy.

Pray for Brad and I, that we would be carefully watchful this weekend. We need to watch Nathanael very closely, so that if anything changes we'll call the doctor on call, and then a decision will be made about whether or not we need to go to the Emergency Department for evaluation. Pray that we don't have to go there!

Most of all, pray for us to TRUST God in the midst of this time of change and waiting. We want to have attitudes that are pleasing to Him, but that's sure not easy in times of stress and sleep-deprivation. We also want this to be used for His glory...though we often have no idea how that's possible. We need to trust and have faith, and we pray that others would join us in that as well.

So after a long day I am thankful for a husband who went to UDF to get me some chocolate/marshmallow ice cream. :)

Hope you enjoy the pictures! Jamison LOVES his new "I Dress Me" chair - a generous gift from a wonderful friend. The last one shows him "helping" Pop Pop George fix the bathtub last weekend. :)

Scroll down the page...

...to read my "new" post. Even though I just wrote it the other day, I started to write it before Brad posted the top entry, so it was placed farther down the page. I haven't bothered to figure out how to change the date yet (and that's not high on my list of priorities!).

Thanks!
;) Bree

Joy Inexpressible (by Brad)

Good evening from Cincinnati, Ohio. I know that many of you have been curious as to what it was like when we finally got to see each other after 3 and a half months apart. It was good. So, how about all that snow?

But seriously...it is funny to me that I can say that about the snow and people from both Dallas and Cincinnati can relate. It's like the stuff followed us here. Bree will post the whole thing from her point of view but I thought that since I was the first who had free time, I thought I'd try and convey what it was like more for Jamison than for me, or at least what I saw Jamison experience.

The snow thing is goofy. The day before we left to drive the 14 hours from McKinney to Cincinnati, more than a foot of snow landed in North Texas. I couldn't believe it. It started snowing well before daybreak and didn't stop for over 24 hours. For Dallasites, that's not a snowstorm, that's the apocalypse. I wondered for a second if God was trying to tell me something about our impending trip. Leave it to me to make a once-every-30 years snowstorm about me. Two days after we got here, Cincinnati was inundated with 9 inches of its own.

Driving for 14 hours with a 3 year old is not a one day trip. We broke it into two days, stopping halfway in Memphis. Hats off to Paul Rasmussen who not only shared in the driving but patiently endured Jamison's constant queries of what was inside each and every semi-trailer that we passed on the highway.

I didn't sleep much on the overnight. The bed in the hotel was a little high off the ground and knowing my boy is an aggressive sleeper I didn't want him falling off so I basically stood vigil all night. It was a good thing I did. Somewhere around 3:00 AM, he had turned around completely and rolled several times reaching the foot of the bed before I picked him up and carried him back to the head of the bed.

All of that is to say that on Saturday, I was exhausted and by the time we were crossing the Ohio River, I was operating solely on adrenaline. After dropping Paul off with Craig Knisley, who with his wife Niki, attended Faith Bible while in seminary, we drove to the apartment.

I honestly have to say that emotionally, it didn't hit me until those last 10 minutes or so. I'd held our departure loosely knowing that any of a number of factors could delay our leaving McKinney. I did my best to focus on the task at hand while we drove across Texas, Arkansas, Tennessee, and Kentucky. However, as we drove those last few miles, it all hit me at once. I got very tired and nervous only because I didn't know how Jamison would handle seeing his mom after all these weeks. I had flashbacks of what it had been like to leave at the end of October, to drive out of the parking garage, and strangely, I got sick to my stomach.

As we drove up, I asked him if he remembered the apartment complex. He said yes. We pulled into the parking spot and I asked him to tell me which building it was and he got it right and when I looked at him, I noticed a big grin on his face. We walked into the building and, truthfully, the smile never left. I asked him what apartment it was and he remembered. When we were here in October, we'd used that hallway to do a little running and so it didn't surprise me when he started to run. We stopped at the door and I got ready to open it but Bree took care of that. It flung open and she scooped him up into her arms. He smiled and giggled and didn't seem to care that mom had tears in her eyes. He just kept talking and talking and explored our small apartment. He found his bed and the stuffed alligator that we'd left here and did nothing but talk to his mommy. I was able to hold it together until I saw Nathanael. My youngest son had just changed so much since I last saw him and Skype for all it's worth didn't do those changes justice.

To say that it feels good to be together again is to surrender to the fact that the English language doesn't have the words but really it's just one more chapter closed in this ongoing saga that would have made some great reality television. I've discovered that Nathanael's health regimen is intense as far as what has to be done when as well as the caution that needs to be exercised to protect him as much as possible from germs while his immune system continues to reboot from the transplant. We should know in a week or so what the remainder of our time here in Cincinnati looks like. Day 100 is March 3rd. That's supposed to mark the end of the critical window. For now, I'll continue to hold it all loosely. Jamison has a few things that he says often. He asks if we in fact all together again (he doesn't say "in fact"). He asks mommy if she's happy and he asks when it is that we will go home to Texas with mommy and Nathanael. Pray Lord that it will be soon.

Together! (And then apart again...)

Sorry it's been so long since our last post. As you can guess, we've been quite busy! (I started this post on February 19, and it's now March 13...)

Brad and Jamison have been working on the concepts of "apart" and "together", so it has been fun to talk about how we are all together again. He has repeatedly asked me, "Are you happy, Mommy?" to which I reply, "I am SO HAPPY that we're all together!" That makes him smile, and I just LOVE to see him smile.

Here's a picture of "Dr. Jamison" getting ready to examine a patient. :) He used his plastic animals to look in my eyes and ears after listening to my heart and lungs...what fun!

Here's Nathanael napping in one of his favorite places...and Brad wonders why it's so hard to get things done... The next picture shows Nathanael after eating some pureed peas...yummy!

Well, we were together for about two weeks before Brad headed back to Texas for a week. It was fun for all of us to be reunited, and yet a challenge to meet all the needs of both boys at the same time, as there are so many needs right now. Of course Nathanael still needs lots of medical care, and has been a little more clingy lately (sometimes he'll cry if anyone else but me holds him), and Jamison needs a lot of attention. It's not easy to balance it all.

The one of Jamison in his car seat was his "nap" after a long day at the hospital. Since Brad left for Texas on March 4, I took BOTH boys with me to the hospital on March 5, and we spent most of the day there. I was so glad that a friend could drive us there, and the hospital van and driver were available to bring us home in the afternoon. After an early morning, a picnic in the hospital room, a few videos and some books, Jamison was worn out. Both boys fell asleep in their carseats on the way home, and the driver offered to carry Jamison (still strapped in, as you can see) into the apartment. :) I got a few minutes to rest while both boys slept, and that was great!

The last picture shows Nathanael, happy with himself after he grabbed a pile of napkins off the countertop. All I did was go into the kitchen to wash my hands, and I turned around to find this! (In the background you can see the medicine tray on the kitchen counter.) Love that mischevious smile!

I tried to include a video of Jamison singing...not sure if it will work. Ugh! Anyway, if you can see/hear it, you'll hear him singing about everything in the room. Brad says it reminds him of that scene in "Anchorman" where Steve Carrell's character starts to say things like, "I love lamp. I love toaster." It's pretty cute and creative. Enjoy!

We're hoping/planning to come HOME HOME around March 25. Please pray for no illness or hospitalizations between now and then so we can come home! Jamison prayed last night that Mommy wouldn't have to go back to the hospital. It breaks my heart, but I'm praying that he'll learn and grow a lot through this experience.

They're coming to Ohio! (by Bree)

Brad sent me this picture today. He pulled out the suitcase and told Jamison about their upcoming trip to Ohio so we can all be together. Awhile later he heard the zipper on the suitcase, and Jamison seemed ready to go. When he opened it to inspect it's contents, this is what he found:

So cute!!! I love how he packed puzzles and a balloon, and no clothes!

So the good news is that they're leaving tomorow, and will arrive here on Saturday night...YAY! I can't wait to see them!!!

While we expect the rest of this journey to still be long and somewhat difficult, we are thankful that this chapter of separation is almost over. It is our prayer that the Lord would make up for the time we have lost with each other and our boys. There is a promise of restoration given to the Israelites in the Old Testament book of Joel. While my belief in the separate identities of Israel and the Church prevent me from claiming that verse as written specifically to me/us, I do believe that it is within the Lord's will to ask Him to bless us that way, and to pray accordingly, as it could most certainly be used for His glory. Here is a short passage from Joel 2:21-32:

Surely the Lord has done great things!
²¹ Don’t be afraid, my people.
Be glad now and rejoice,
for the Lord has done great things.
²² Don’t be afraid, you animals of the field,
for the wilderness pastures will soon be green.
The trees will again be filled with fruit;
fig trees and grapevines will be loaded down once more.
²³ Rejoice, you people of Jerusalem!
Rejoice in the Lord your God!
For the rain he sends demonstrates his faithfulness.
Once more the autumn rains will come,
as well as the rains of spring.
²⁴ The threshing floors will again be piled high with grain,
and the presses will overflow with new wine and olive oil.

²⁵ The Lord says, “I will give you back what you lost
to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts,
the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts.
It was I who sent this great destroying army against you.
²⁶ Once again you will have all the food you want,
and you will praise the Lord your God,
who does these miracles for you.
Never again will my people be disgraced.
²⁷ Then you will know that I am among my people Israel,
that I am the Lord your God, and there is no other.
Never again will my people be disgraced.

³² But everyone who calls on the name of the Lord
will be saved,
for some on Mount Zion in Jerusalem will escape,
just as the Lord has said.
These will be among the survivors
whom the Lord has called.

Happy 3rd Birthday Jamison!

Today is my big boy's third birthday! While I'm sad that I'm not there to celebrate with him, I'm hoping and planning to celebrate with him in a few weeks. We love him so much, and are so proud of him!

Here's a picture from February 2007...so precious!


The other picture is of Jamison with a cupcake after dinner tonight...so grown up! We sang and marched to the "Birthday Parade" song on his new (personalized) CD, and gave him a balloon through Skype, which delighted and amused him...until the balloon popped. Oh well...it was fun while it lasted!


Thanks to Colette for this last picture from his birthday party...and thanks to Chris & Lisa, Jeff & Ale, Jackie, Amy, and everyone else who organized his Elmo Birthday Party (and to Nana Bonnie for the idea, supplies, etc.)!