So the boys and I got together with a new friend the other day (yay!) and we were talking about the whole transplant experience, the challenges of having your baby in the NICU, and I got to thinking: what was most difficult for me about transplant? I'm not trying to complain here, but I find it therapeutic to get my thoughts out and share them, so here goes:
What has been most difficult for me in the past 21 months is the loneliness/isolation, and great responsibility. What do I mean? Despite lots (and lots and lots) of people praying for me, it feels like only a very few have truly understood what our life has been like. I was used to having a group of friends who could relate to where I was in life, whether that was being home with a small child, having a job that could at times drive me crazy, making a long commute every day, or dealing with relational challenges in my immediate and extended family. Since so few friends have been through transplant (and the BMT world is unlike anything I've known, EVEN with my rather extensive personal experience) it does feel lonely. I also noticed that it was easier for me to have another adult around all the time (like when Mom was living with me in Cincinnati) than to be at home on my own with two little ones all day. The difference that the conversation and company of another adult makes is incredible! I know we tried to limit visitors in the past, and our caution probably made lots of our friends nervous about coming near the boys. Now we just need to move forward out of our isolation, and it really is harder than I though it would be.
The "great responsibility" to which I r
Once we moved home quite a few things changed, and we had to readjust to a new sy
The other thing that was
Okay, so this post has been a little depressing, so I have to include some pictures of my boys. I've been told many times this week how adorable they are...and I agree! :)